I liked the potential of this story. As my hated 10th grade English teacher used to tell us: You have a germ of an idea. I had lots more questions about Michelle than answers that were provided about the character, as well as the geography of the place/park/neighborhood. I think the park needs to be tied back into the story a little bit better, if only, perhaps as the anchor for the place where these two characters meet and live. It becomes more than just the park, it becomes the place, if you get my difference. I emailed the essay to you, my son is screaming, I have to go. I’ll post it a little later.

Overall, I really like it. I thought you had a great idea of writing an different kind of self-help essay, or at least a satire/parody of it. There was a lot going on, and I think you need to streamline it. As I say in my feedback, there are three (or more) voices used in the story, and it can be really jarring. I wasn’t sure what to make of your opening, with the image of the cat. It felt to me like science fiction, then poetry, then self-help. It needs to be woven together more effectively. How to do that? I’m not sure. I (personally) would tone down the first part, make it more like the other parts, but that’s just me. Here is where you can find my feedback.