Response to Cynthia’s Assmt 3
October 22nd, 2009 at 22:20Hi Cynthia,
Judging from your brackets, it looks like you know what you need to develop still. I’m going to comment on the new addition at the beginning. I wonder what is the significance of Michelle observing women stretching together around the fountain? Will these women reappear later in the narrative, or is the stretching in unison indicative of something absent or present in Michelle’s life? In any case, it’s a compelling picture. And the fact that this picture is jarred by two striking women, akin to L., could also be symbolic.
I would like the narrator to step back at this time, and really observe Michelle in the third person. What does Michelle look like? How does she appear to the third party observer? How would she be described by L. or by a woman stretching at the fountain who observes out of the corner of her eye this woman scribbling in her notebook. What a picture she makes?